Seeing the Table Through as RPG Elites Do
The term “inclusive” gets thrown around quite a bit in our culture here in the United States and beyond. Those who say it don’t know how to implement it, because more often than not, it’s a one-way street when it comes to that.
Some people say it as a way to show they are altruistic. They care nothing about the people they are supposedly arguing for. Not really. At the end of the day, they’re just virtue signaling. When you press them, you will find they are not as “inclusive” as they want you to think. We’ll get to that in a few.
Because we have a different standard, the one thing RPG Elites will NEVER say is this:
Everyone is welcome at my table.
When it comes to gathering around the table playing a tabletop RPG, RPG Elites are not all-inclusive and they have no qualms about saying so. They are discerning. Discriminating. Analytical. That second one I’ve already spoken about in a previous post.
This falls right in line with RPG Elite Quality #5 which I have done a pair of videos on. If you haven’t seen those videos, I suggest you do so if you’re interested in the RPG Elite Philosophy or to get some understanding about this post.
Today, I want to give three reasons why RPG Elites never say that, give an alternative phrase RPG Elites might say that is welcoming but also wise, and show how many people who often say this use double standards.
Reason #1: It Doesn’t Take Reality into Account
When people say “Everyone is welcome at my table.”, I understand what they are trying to say. It sounds very nice. Dare I say, inclusive.
But it’s naïve. It’s gullible and is more often than not the catalyst for introducing all kinds of problems in your sessions. It’s not living in the real world filled with human beings, all of whom are evil.
I understand the end of that last sentence may bother many, and it should. However, I say it not as a dig but as reality. This is the truth of the matter. Everyone is evil. Everyone. Some more so than others. I won’t get into the philosophical and theological ramifications of the statement. I don’t believe I need to. Just think about it for a second. Really think about. You will find it’s the unmitigated truth. Because of this truth, RPG Elites never say, “Everyone is welcome at my table.”
Don’t get it wrong. RPG Elites all over know those that say that mean well. It’s a noble sentiment, but not practical nor wise. I’m not trying to rain on people’s campfire moment. Optimism is good in it’s place. But I’m an optimistic realist. I pray for a great outcome, but I don’t ignore reality, especially when it’s right in front of my face. I’m not going to bury my head in the sand and wish for the best. I take reality as it is and adjust accordingly.
I am not the only one who does this. All RPG Elites do this, especially when it comes to who sits at our table.
Reason #2: Everyone Is Not Worthy to Sit at the Table.
I know. People will get all up in a tizzy because I used the word worthy. Before we have knee-jerk emotional reactions instead of lucid responses, it’s good to be on the same page when it comes to the definition of the word and what it actually means, not what some may think it means, or not liking it because they are not comfortable with a word.
The Oxford Language Dictionary defines worthy as:
“having or showing the qualities or abilities that merit recognition in a specified way.”
The Cambridge Dictionary defines it in this way:
“deserving respect, admiration, or support:”
Yes, and amen. And no, everyone does not deserve respect. We are afforded respect because we are respectful. Inter-relational respect is earned.
Many people are not worthy because they are not enjoyable people to be around. They don’t necessarily have to be toxic. Much of their actions are passive-aggressive. They just don’t exhibit the qualities RPG Elites look for in a tabletop compatriot.
Being worthy is about being courteous, respectful, humorous, involved, and invested in what is going on. It’s having manners towards others at the table.
Far too many people are self-absorbed and narcissistic, and they bring that attitude to the table. If things are not going the way they want it, they will let you know in some way, and it’s always negative.
In response, the other players often tolerate that behavior in silence, grin and bearing it instead of stopping that kind of conduct out the gate. No one wants the drama, so they settle for a tainted, uncomfortable four to six hour experience because no one had the boldness to speak up and say what needed to be said to that individual.
That attitude is selfish because that silence has a detrimental affect for everyone at the table.
Everyone is not worthy to play with a tabletop RPG group, especially one full of RPG Elites.
Reason #3: Everyone Is Not Looking for the Same Experience.
The excitement of the idea of playing in a certain tabletop RPG setting is quite different from the reality. Often, just getting enough people interested is a struggle, especially in person. But even when that happens, people jump right into playing then discover later that everyone is not quite on the same page in terms of expectations.
Tabletop RPG sessions are a time intensive endeavor. Sitting down for four to six hours a stretch is just part of the time that’s invested.
The GM spends way more time preparing to facilitate sessions than players, two to three times more than actual sessions, depending on how long they are, how involved they want their campaigns to be and if they are starting from scratch in their worldbuilding.
Playstyles need to be considered as well. RPG Elites focus on high and medium level roleplaying (with a bent towards high). Others may focus on low level roleplaying with no high level roleplaying. Instead of trying to pigeonhole someone into a group who obviously has different expectations, or attempting to appease everyone’s playstyle, it’s better to cut the fat. Trying to accommodate all of these different playstyles in one group is arduous and not fun.
This can be avoided by setting expectations before you even start playing. If someone is not looking for what is being offered, they don’t have to waste time playing something they wouldn’t enjoy. Many people would say this is session 0, but it isn’t. This happens BEFORE Session 0.
Session 0 implies there will be more sessions with that particular group. That’s not the case in most groups. For RPG Elites, it is, because everyone at the table has already been vetted. This is a meeting where you sit down like adults, mature people and get the details of what will be presented in the campaign or session and see if it will be for everyone at the table.
Session 0 is for character creation and getting an idea for how your character will interact with the others.
By having this meeting, you don’t have to deal with a player who can potentially turn into someone who is disinterested and not involved. Or worse yet, will attempt to derail your sessions like an infant because the don’t get everything they want. Just cut that stuff off at the gate.
The Double Standard
Many — dare I say most — people who talk about being “inclusive” really have a double standard. These same people do not tolerate others around the table who have a different agenda or RPG outlook than they do.
They say they are “inclusive” and “diverse”, when really they mean they are like that when it lines up with what they want or everyone around the table has the same outlook as them.
Some of these people, to avoid the impropriety of the reality of this double standard manifesting in plain sight, will let a person play they really don’t want to play. It looks like very thing is all good. However, they will often make the experience uncomfortable so that person will decide not to play again. Then they can pat themselves on the back by saying they included them.
RPG Elites won’t fall for the okey doke. We just won’t let them in at the table.
An Alternative Saying
To say, “Everyone is welcome at my table” is a red flag for RPG Elites. That person will normally will be a weak individual who will tolerate anything for the sake of having bodies to play a game. They are more concerned with appearances instead of experiences.
Instead of saying everyone is welcome at the table, RPG Elites say, “Let’s see if this is something you would be interested in.” A discussion then follows. This is especially important for new players new to tabletop RPGs.
If after all of that they say “Yes”, they are welcome to play if they follow the tabletop ground rules and parameters laid out by that group and their GM. Sometimes, there will be more nuanced discussion about different aspects of the campaign or session. If necessary, a mature GM will lay down the law. If they don’t like it, they can leave and try another group or maybe wait for the same group to play a different game with different parameters.
Playing a tabletop RPG is different from playing other types of game. Because of its particular framework, it is wise and prudent to vet players and discuss details before a character is made. This will make for an overall more enjoyable tabletop RPG experience.
